The Big FAT ugly truth

As promised I'm keeping this honest, even though at times it will be a bit embarrassing to myself.  I'm starting a journey, one that I'll hopefully be proud of in the end, so i figured i may as well go ahead and share this with you guys.  Weight is something everyone has struggled with at some point in their life, either your too skinny or too fat.  When i was a teenager, it was a struggle for me to gain weight, although i ate like a horse.  I remember my mother telling me "it'll catch up to you some day"  i never thought it would.  I can also recall going back to school my eight grade year after summer brake and a girl telling me how much better i looked cause i had actually gained some weight.  When i turned 16, my drivers licence said i weighted 107!!  Back then, it didn't mean that much to me, 107 was good, right?  Not really, now when someone weighs less then 130 people seem to talk about how they must have an eating disorder, but more then 170 and they have the same problem (eating too much).  Why?  I believe we can thank society for this, just open a magazine or turn on the TV.  If their too skinny their ill, if their too big there ill, but if their perfect well, their perfect!  What is this perfect weight?  If i put in my height and age it tells me i should be approximately 130!  That's what i weighed when i was 3 months pregnant with Kendi!  It's amazing how easy it is to gain that weight, yet so hard to lose it.  Once i started to pack it on, it didn't stop!  Seriously, you may say "yeah but you were pregnant" true, but the day i delivered Weston i weighed in at 222!  That's a HUGE difference!  So from there i should of went way down, instead i went a LITTLE down.  I knew i had stayed "large" none of my cloths fit, i hate shopping now, which used to be one of my favorite things to do!  I have those rolls and hang overs in places i never in my dreams imagined I'd have.  You were right mom, it caught up!  I get undressed and kendi says "mom your belly is fat"  or "why is your butt so bumpy?"  It's okay to giggle a little there, it's true!  I've been asked if I'm pregnant again because my stomach just keeps growing.  This sucks!  I keep trying new diets, even joined weight watchers, I've lost it, but gained it right back!  I've got a problem with sticking with things sometimes, but this time I'm getting in, and not quitting till i get out of this body!  This is going to be hard, but i believe i can do it.  I want to, just as much as i need too.  I refuse to be one of those big ladies who has to ride the rascals threw walmart because I'm too big to walk!  Really, that's just sad!  Today i weigh 207, that's right, i just posted publicly that i weigh 207!!  Remember i said i was at 222 when i had my son, who will be 3 May 2nd.  That's really bad folks!  This has to end, and it will.  I plan to track my progress and what I'm doing in my blogs, because telling people about your weight isn't easy, so now you know how large i am, i want you to know how hard I'm trying and how small i can be!  I'm sure tomorrow I'll regret posting my weight, hell i probably will as soon as i hit "post" but whats done is done!  This may have bored you or shocked you or made you even think I'm a slob, but again as promised I'm keeping this honest.  Call me what you want, but eventually I'll be a hott momma!